I received these interesting letters. I think we should write one to the husbands...

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Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programssuch as Weekend Golf 6.5, Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simplycrashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Housewife

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is anoperating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wavfiles.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crashHusband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance.

I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,

IT Support

Why Che Det bombarded Dollah...

And He called Samy's a Folly...

Wedding Photos

My long over due studio wedding photos...

大頭相

I always think it is important to keep a recent nice passport photo (or sort) for the family in case of "emergency". I'm just worried that my family couldn't find a nice photo for my tomb stone and that it will stuck there for more than 100 years.

First impression is important, of course I want my descendants to remember the best (look) of me. Kakaka...

Although that is not the reason why I have kept a record of such photos. It's actually interesting to see our changes over time (better or worse).

Chromosome Y Won The Life Race

Dr Guna did an ultra sound and highlighted to me the little penis on the screen... "Maybe it's a boy!".

Ahh!.... chromosome Y won the battle.

Technical way to increase the chance of getting a boy / girl
My former boss, Sharon is a bio-chemical expert, you may really want to refer to her theory to enhance your chance of having a baby boy or girl.

• Men produce 2 types of sperms, one carries chromosome Y i.e. the gene of male & the other X, i.e. the gene of female.
• Y sperm is lighter, stronger, can swim faster but has a shorter life span - 3 days (Probably energy is exhausted during the life race).
  
• X sperm is genetically "fatter", a slow swimmer but has a longer life span - 5 days.
  

Knowing such characteristics, you can count your ovulation day and "do business" accordingly. Ovulation normally happens around 12th day of your period (but you can buy test kit to monitor), so make love 4-5 days earlier will enhance the chance of X sperms meeting the egg. Vice versa, having sex close to your ovulation will likely to help Y sperms to win the battle.

(I'm in my 2nd trimester, 16 weeks)

紅玫瑰與白玫瑰

女人都有兩種：红玫瑰與白玫瑰。
但是到了男人的手，其實也沒有什麽分別。

张爱玲說的還真是一針見血：

要是男人娶了红玫瑰，
久而久之，红的变了墙上的一抹蚊子血，
白的还是"床前明月光"；

要是男人娶了白玫瑰，白的便是衣服上沾的一粒饭黏子，
红的却是心口上一颗朱砂痣。

Blackie Lim

Hello - the pity kitten adopted by my mother-in-law, has now grown up & renamed as Blackie Lim.

Mana pergi Kitty?
Blackie's brother, Kitty is not as lucky as him. Kitty died a horrible death a week before Cheng Beng - run over by my in-law's car! Well, accident, accident...

Ever since the death of the younger brother, Blackie enjoys our full attention and luxury indulgence - cat treats, nice crib, scratching posts, regular medical care - vaccination of all kinds including leukemia...??? (never heard before! Thanks to my bro-in-law, a genuine cat lover. Honestly, I think I need that more than a cat).

Blackie is no ordinary cat, according to the vet, he is a mixed breed of domestic & Persian. Yoo... don't play play... but obviously he inherited only the tail from a Persian.



Kacau King
Blackie is damn good at buat kacau - jumping up & down, scratching, biting computer cables, toppling vases & pots, sleeping on the pot plants... I guess he just wanted to attract attention like any other lonely kids do. But luckily he has found a new mate lately - Mimi, my neighbour's cat. So now he has got a mate to play with, causes us less headaches.

I like cat but still far to be called a cat lover. I consider treatments that Blackie enjoys way too luxury. Probably this is the best way to redeem our guilt of negligence that causes his brother's death.

R.I.P Kitty.

The Beauty of Travel

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel, until he comes home & rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. Well say.

A broke fellow like me would not have chance to set foot on the Africa Continent, if not of the company trip.

South Africa's Wildlife - From The Eyes To The Mouth

Holiday in South Africa end last month, and what's best to share if it is not the WILDLIFE?

Spending 2 hours driving thru the wild in the early morning, we wrapped ourselves up like Osama bin Laddin to bear with the extremely cold weather (which was likely to be under 10c). We have not seen many of the animals though - rhino, giraffe, elephant, zebra, hippo, antelope... That's it. Nothing much to shout about. Probably because we went to a mini safari, so wild animals like lion is no where to be seen.









Ever seen & used a zebra crossing? - here's the real one - classic!






Wildlife is best apreciated with taste buds!
While it seemed hard to catch the animals in the wild, it was actually easy to have them on our dinner plates!

Observing how the meats were served is really eye-opening!




















Crocodile meat tastes just like fish, some said it has the texture of chicken.
Ostrich is good, as sweet & tender as beef.
Antelope is venison, but has a much stronger gamy smell.
Zebra is the very dry and hard version of beef... no good no good...
Many more which I did not have them on my plate, what a waste!

Oh yeah...